Hey, so it’s been a while since I last wrote… A long while. Normally, I used writing as a form of catharsis, but this year was one worth giving you, the reader, a reflection.
While a lot has happened this year both positively and negatively (results wise), I can confidently say this was the best year of my life. Not only in poker results, but more so in the ways I’ve changed as an individual. The conversations and the experiences that have led up to now have been nothing short of a fantasy. If I told the past me that got into poker 3 years ago about where I’d be at this point, I would have said that was impossible. Did I think I was going to be successful in poker from the beginning of my career? Yes, I did. I’ve always had a belief in myself that I’d figure things out when I dropped out of college, but I didn’t think I’d be where I am now in a career and social standpoint. For the first time in my life I can confidently call my “best friends” my best friends.
Let’s start with a quick recap of 2021. I was on stake for 500nl the first half of the year, then got off stake and moved to Vegas during the Online WSOP, learned MTT strategy from Chewy and Nick Schulman. My Airbnb rental was up after the series, and I refused to leave Vegas and found myself on the couch of the loft of the Solve For Why Office. Some months go by and I join a staking deal with the homies (Nick, Chewy, Berkey), get wrecked in high stakes cash, and then win a live tournament for over 200k.
Fast forward to February 5th, Doug and Daniel’s HU Match recently ended, and I challenged Bill Perkins to HUNL 200/400 where I would spot him $720k to play me in 20,000 hands. It was due to start early June, so there was a good 3 months of preparation and study from both sides to lead up to this point. We all know how this ended, but just in case you don’t, I surrendered 25% of the way through, as he was a much better opponent than was expected, and the result of which could have become very costly (more so than the -312k that was paid to buy out of the 200k side bet at 1:1 + the HU match itself). I dropped the ball on this one, no way around it.
Moving on to Summer of 2021, the next couple weeks post challenge, I was in a poor mental state to say the least. I felt like I let my team down, I let myself down, and the social media backlash of cutting the match short was brutal. The house took a trip to Lake Tahoe because Berkey thought I would be stewing in my room for days on end and needed a reprieve. At this time the WSOP online bracelet series was going on, so while I ended one poker endeavor, the next was already upon me.
Fortunately, I went on a massive heater playing WSOP Online events, starting with a 2nd in a 1k for 20k, then another 2nd in a 1k Online Bracelet event for 85k, and then winning a 1k for 38k. It was crazy how as soon as the decision to forfeit the match was made, nearly a month later I was back on my feet again.
The next biggest thing was the WPT “Home Game” stream. Just a year ago I was playing 500nl online and fast forward to playing 200/400/400. I played in the game with some people I looked up to (and still do) when getting into poker in the first place a few years ago. Tom Dwan, Dan Smith, Scott Seiver and Jason Koon to name a few. I grew a lot from that experience and was thankful to the people in my corner that stuck by me to take action in high stakes games even after the Perkins Challenge went awry.
Fast forward a few months and the Live WSOP was back. I walked through the Rio for the first time, the atmosphere buzzing with poker players, booths, and energy like I’ve never experienced before. I played my first Main Event, which although went poorly, is certainly a tournament I’ll be playing for the rest of my life. I ran deep in a few other events after the Main Event ended, but this was a turning point for me in my overall career.
I decided to end the stake I was on for the past year and a half.
There were many factors that led to this decision, but the main one was that I felt stuck and was scared. I was at a crossroads with some other arrangements I had going on during this time and felt like I needed a change. I wanted to cut everything I was doing to start from scratch. This decision was rushed, planned poorly, and not done in the most responsible manner to say the least. Thankfully for me, the backing group cares more about my success overall rather than the amount of money I could have made on stake, and understood my decision. There was a time when we discussed the idea of returning back on stake, but I needed to feel what it was like to have all of my own action, at least for a little while.
It’s been a month and a half since then, and I can honestly say that being on my own has been one of the best experiences I could have had. I became demotivated, lazy, and had a strong sense of entitlement when it came to playing higher stakes due to my lack of setting goals and ideas of the future. I didn’t scale properly. I didn’t have a plan as to what I wanted to do with my time, as well as what games I even wanted to play. Going “back to where I was before,” playing 500nl, was exactly what I needed.
I’m currently in the phase of building a bankroll for myself, selling action to mtts, and becoming just a bit more responsible every day. Unsurprisingly, my results at 500nl since being off stake have been amazing, winning 15bb/100 over 50k hands in the past 45 days. I don’t think it will take long to build the same bankroll I had while I was on stake, but the difference will be that I’ll have a decent amount of money that’s my own, and that’s been a great feeling.
I’ve had the best month of my 3 year career for myself when it comes to the amount of profits that’s being put into my own pocket… 100%.
Some people say, “It’s easier to play when you’re on someone else’s money,” and I couldn’t disagree more. I feel free. Not that I wasn’t prior, but it really is a different kind of feeling.
So while this year has been one of growth in a variety of different areas for me, I look forward to 2022 with a clean database, and a fresh start of the next phase of my career, in which I play for myself, and absolutely rip it.
Good for you! Can't wait to see your 2022 progression.